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Making Bets
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I really liked this piece on how our brain is in a constant state of
betting on the future in real time. The hed and dek sort of says it all:
“Your brain d...
10 hours ago
Friday, July 18, 2008
It's Official...
we were not chosen to parent a baby due to an expectant couple in September. I found out yesterday after emailing our social worker for an update. I am bummed to say the least! Angry would be another word to describe how I am feeling. This just goes to show how emotionally draining the adoption process is. I was fine the other day, actually felt (and wrote about) a sense of peace about the possibility of not being chosen for this particular situation. Yesterday and today I am just plain mad! I won't go into the logistics of everything, but I just feel like I'm ready to give up....throw in the adoption towel. The only thing that is keeping me from giving up is Lil Diva. She so very badly wants a baby brother or sister. Obviously, HM and I want more children to love and raise. We're not just basing our decision to add on to our family on the Diva's wishes. This is hard...really, really hard! As we near the 1-year mark of waiting, we now must worry about updating our homestudy (which entails money, paperwork, new fingerprint checks, etc). I have an feeling in the pit of my gut that our wait is going to continue to be very long. Sorry for the vent....I just had to get some of this out. Believe me, this is not even close to what I really what to post as I am having some really negative thoughts about this whole process. Please pray for us! We really need it right now.
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3 comments:
Oh Jill! This has got to be hard. Don't give up, women in the Bible waited 7 YEARS to have children and God blessed them. He will bless you too. Stay strong, stay faithful. My mom and dad gave up for these same reasons, they did not have faith on their side at the time. Please trust HIM. we are thinking of you and praying with you.
Max Lucado says that we often miss it when God is whispering to us - it's so much easier to hear him when we think he's yelling in our direction! So, I would say that if you listen, my sweet and precious friend, that you would hear Him saying... "Patience, my child.... Patience." Remember, though it is hard and certainly not easy, that you are part of His plan... not your plan. :-) The perfect little one is coming. I know it.
It is hard. Honestly, I believe adoption is one of the hardest things we will ever do/experience in our life. And it's so hard to understand unless you've walked the walk.
But you can't give up. You can never give up (even though on more days than we can count we want to). You pick yourself up & you dust yourself off. There is a baby out there for you & that baby needs you to keep searching. Keep trucking on. Keep praying.
I'll be praying for you guys. Hang in there.
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